Those first few days in the hospital were so upsetting I developed PTSD, mainly around the issues of not being able to feed her myself. This conditioned her early on to get used to that flow of milk, which meant my supply, when it did start to come in, didn’t really satisfy her. She lost a lot of weight very quickly during these first couple of days, and we ended up being given formula to feed her in bottles with very fast flowing teats. When I did manage to get Ripley to latch, she quickly gave up as I had no milk or colostrum for her. At the time I felt like I was failing so badly, because I couldn’t get her to latch and when she did, it was clear she wasn’t getting anything from me. I had to stay in hospital for several days, and during this time I was unable to sleep. By then I was so exhausted from being in theatre that I couldn’t get her to latch and I was pretty out of it, so she was given formula. It was several hours after her birth that I finally got to hold her properly. Because I needed to have my placenta manually removed as it wouldn’t come out. I was so wrong! Breastfeeding doesn’t come easilyĪfter Ripley was born, I didn’t get to hold her for very long before she was taken away. ![]() ![]() I knew it wouldn’t necessarily be easy, but I naively thought that it would be a case of mind over matter and I would be able to do it. Before I gave birth, I assumed I would breastfeed and that everything would just work.
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